I was meeting with a new student the other day and we were discussing her dog’s behavior. He was barking, lunging, and trying to bite some people when they said hello. I think we can all agree that aggression is a pretty scary behavior and one that should be taken seriously. My student wanted to help her dog learn to be more socially appropriate and to feel more at ease saying hello to new people. Understandably so too. It doesn’t feel good to have a dog who shows aggression or reactivity to strangers, especially at the house. Now, let me ask you a question. Do you think this dog needs training?
Dogs love training when it’s done fairly, using humane methods involving positive reinforcement, choice, and consideration for the dog’s well-being. You know if you have ever tried to teach your dog a trick how much they light up when the games begin! But, Just because we can train a dog to do something, doesn’t necessarily mean we should.
I asked my student if her dog needed to be friendly with everyone who came to her home. I asked her what her dog would prefer. We don’t have an answer just yet, it will take time to get to know the dog and to help him feel more comfortable around people before we see if he wants to say hello and make friends. The conversation got me thinking about how many people teach their dogs things because they believe they should. To quote my therapist, “We should all aspire to stop “shoulding” on ourselves.”
Let me explain.
Manzo barks when he sees squirrels in our backyard. Do I need to teach him not to do that? For our family, where we live, no I do not need to. I can manage his access to the windows by closing the curtains. I can give him something else to do with an enrichment toy. I don’t need to spend loads of time teaching Manzo not to bark at squirrels just because it looks like a nuisance behavior.
Does your dog jump on you when you come home from work? Does it make you happy to see your dog overjoyed to see you? If it’s not a problem for you then it’s not a problem for me! There are so many things dogs do normally that may look like “bad behavior” but at the end of the day, we don’t need to rush to training unless we do.
Here are a few things to consider when deciding if your dog needs training.
First and foremost is safety. If your dog is behaving in a way that causes a risk to their safety or someone else’s then we need to intervene. Pulling so hard on the leash that they cannot breathe or that they may knock you over, poses a serious safety risk. Counter surfing could also be a safety risk in some homes depending on what your dog could get a hold of. Jumping on visitors may be a safety risk if you have a Great Dane but the Papillon jumping to say hello isn’t necessarily posing a safety risk. Ask yourself to consider everyone's safety. If everyone is safe, move down the list here.
Secondly, I want you to consider the dog’s well-being. If you’re avoiding walking your dog because their behavior is embarrassing, your dog may not be getting the essential exercise they need. Maybe having people in the house stresses your dog out and they hide in a corner. We need to consider how our dog is feeling, not just how they are behaving. If their well-being is at risk then we should intervene with positive training.
Next, consider your well-being. Maybe your dog pulls on a leash and while it’s not to the point where you’re concerned for your safety, it’s making your end of the day miserable, causing you to avoid walking altogether. Maybe your dog gets so happy to see people visiting the house you are avoiding being social at all. Your dog matters, but you do too! Consider how your dog's behavior is affecting your life and if we need to we can make adjustments. We can help you set reasonable and appropriate goals too.
Lastly, consider if the behavior can be easily managed without compromising anyone’s safety or well-being. Management isn’t necessarily training, it’s making adjustments to the dog’s environment, or access to it, in a way that reduces the behavior in question. Let me give you a few examples. Your dog pulls on a leash when you try to walk them. Could you exercise them in your fenced-in yard instead so they get their much-needed exercise without risking safety or anyone’s well-being? Say your dog jumps on guests when they arrive. Could you place them behind a baby gate before your guests come inside so they cannot rush the door right away? Say your dog is fearful and reactive to new people at the house. Could you teach them to relax in a safe space so they don’t need to worry about policing the door and protecting the family?
It’s important to remember that our dogs are dogs. They are fiercely intelligent animals and are capable of so much when we give them the opportunity to learn. If you find yourself struggling with your dog’s behavior I want to remind you to go easy on yourself, it’s challenging living with a different species, and dogs these days are facing increasingly challenging obstacles. It’s just plain hard.
Living with and raising a dog can be both joyful and challenging, especially when behaviors feel overwhelming or confusing. It’s important to remember that dogs aren’t born knowing how to live in our human world—it’s our job to teach them, but it’s also okay to ask for help. Whether you’re navigating puppyhood, managing reactivity, or addressing aggression, you don’t have to do it alone. As trainers, we’re here to do more than teach your dog new skills; we’re here to guide and support you through the ups and downs. So, if you’re feeling stuck or unsure, reach out. Together, we’ll help you and your dog build a stronger, happier partnership.
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